I’ve been a bridesmaid 4 times in my life. The first time, I went out and bought a guidebook on how to be the best bridesmaid. (Yes, I’m a bit of an overachiever, LOL!). But even the guidebook couldn’t prepare me for the reality of what it means to be a bridesmaid. It’s intense – both physically and emotionally! From waking up before sunrise for hair appointments, to pulling all-nighters to make wedding favors, and stressing about the best songs to add to the DJ playlist…. Of course, I was happy to help, because I was overjoyed that my best friend was getting married. However, I remember thinking to myself that I would never want my friends to be under stress because of my wedding.
Fast forward to the moment I announced my engagement to my best friends via Face Time. They IMMEDIATELY asked who I was going to choose as my bridesmaids. Yikes! I struggled with my decision throughout the entire month of January. In fact, without anyone knowing, I chose bridesmaids, and even included them in my wedding website under the “My Bridesmaids” section. But after careful consideration, I decided I will NOT have bridesmaids for my wedding. So I gathered my would-be bridesmaids together. As we were huddled, they initially thought I was going to pop the question, “Will you be my bridesmaid?” To their dismay, however, I said, “I love you all very much! And if I were having bridesmaids, it would be all of you!” I couldn’t believe their reactions – ranging from shocked, to disappointed, to upset. So, why on earth would I choose to not have bridesmaids?
The two main reasons I am NOT having bridesmaids:
- First, I love my friends! And I don’t want to stress them out. Even the simple question of what to wear becomes complicated when you have to think about style, fabric, color, and a price range that everyone can agree on. Then there’s the logistics of coordinating busy schedules for dress shopping, shoe shopping, bridal showers, and bachelorette parties. And don’t forget about hair, makeup, early mornings and sleepless nights…. Aaaah!
- Second, I love myself! (Yes, I said it!). I don’t want to be stressed out either. When I was a bridesmaid, I saw how the bride was worried and under pressure to make everyone happy. There were definitely “bridezilla” moments when a bridesmaid didn’t complete a task exactly as the bride had hoped. It can happen to the best of us. So, I would rather avoid those headaches, and focus on the most important part of the day: marrying the love of my life!
I guess you can say I am having the most nontraditional wedding. I feel like I’m the only bride in America that will not have bridesmaids! But, at least I know that everyone will be happy and stress-free. (And by the way – although my friends will not be standing up as bridesmaids, they still offered to stand by my side throughout my entire wedding planning adventure. I have the sweetest friends!).
If you’re not having bridesmaids, share your story with us, we’d love to hear it!